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An Open Letter to Jeff Bezos

“Sixteen Totes”

(Sung to the tune of Sixteen Tons)


Some people say that work can build up your pride

But I spend my days scanning boxes inside

Boxes and tape and barcode scans

A back that aches and numb, sore hands


(Chorus)


You load 16 totes, what do you get?

Another shift over and deeper in sweat

Jeff Bezos, don’t you call me ’cause I can’t go

I owe my soul to the cardboard box flow


I was hired one morning with a five-minute vid

They said, “Don’t need training, just do as you’re bid”

I loaded 16 totes full of cheap décor

And the manager said, “C’mon, scan some more!”


(Chorus)


You load 16 totes, what do you get?

Another shift over and deeper in sweat

Jeff Bezos, don’t you call me ’cause I can’t go

I owe my soul to the cardboard box flow


I was born on Prime Day, it was drizzlin’ rain

Break time’s a rumor, and pain is my name

I was raised in the warehouse with the boxes flyin’

You know if you slow down, you’re in the welfare line.


(Chorus)


You load 16 totes, what do you get?

Another shift over and deeper in sweat

Jeff Bezos, don’t you call me ’cause I can’t go

I owe my soul to the cardboard box flow


If you see me limpin’, better step aside

A lotta folks quit, a lotta folks cried

One wrist with carpal, the other is sprained,

If the quotas don’t break you, then you get a faster lane.


(Chorus)


You load 16 totes, what do you get?

Another shift over and deeper in sweat

Jeff Bezos, don’t you call me ’cause I can’t go

I owe my soul to the cardboard box flow


(Repeat until manager glares at you)

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